006 | Ghosting 2.0: When Your AI Attends the Meeting Without You

You scheduled the call. They missed the meeting. But their AI note-taker showed up right on time. Ghosting just went digital—and it’s raising new questions about trust, etiquette, and the future of human connection in business.

Business ghosting used to mean an unanswered email or a pitch met with radio silence. But the new version is even colder: your client skips the meeting, but their AI logs in right on time, records everything, and leaves without a trace of human interaction.

“It’s the ultimate snub,” says Valerie Cobb. “Your client skips the call, but the robot still shows up. What’s that even say about our work culture right now?”

At best, it’s awkward. At worst, it signals disinterest disguised as efficiency. When someone can’t spare 30 minutes for a live conversation but still sends their note-taking bot, the message is clear: you’re not worth my time, just my transcript.

But if no one is there, what are you going to talk about?

The Rise of Digital Dissonance

This isn’t just about missed meetings. It reflects a deeper shift in how we’re using automation to avoid accountability. Tools like Fireflies, Fathom, and Otter.ai are designed to support productivity—but they’re also making it easier to disengage.

“There’s a time and place for automation,” says Melanie Asher, MBA. “But when your AI note-taker is present without you, it signals avoidance—not efficiency.”

Especially in early-stage or high-stakes meetings, where trust is being built in real time, showing up matters. Connection—not content—is the currency. And no matter how accurate the transcript, an AI presence can’t replicate emotional intelligence or nuance.

The temptation to automate everything is real—especially for founders and execs juggling packed calendars. But AI’s convenience comes with a cost.

Yes, AI note-takers support multitasking. They’re helpful for neurodivergent teams, multilingual communication, and busy founders who need searchable records. But they can also become a crutch—substituting engagement for efficiency.

“I type a gazillion words per minute,” says Valerie. “And for me, note-taking helps me focus. But that’s human effort—not artificial presence.”

There’s a difference between using tools to enhance your work and outsourcing presence altogether. And when tools are overused, trust erodes.

The Psychology of Professional Ghosting

This trend isn’t happening in a vacuum. It mirrors how we behave in other digital environments—swiping past dating profiles, ghosting text threads, or reading messages without replying. That same avoidance culture has crept into the workplace.

According to a 2023 report from Harvard Business Review, ghosting has become a growing issue even in executive-level hiring, with some companies reporting over 20% of candidates vanishing after multiple interview rounds.

If ghosting is normalized in recruiting, sales, and even partnerships, it’s no wonder it's showing up in Zoom meetings too.

But in business, ghosting isn’t just rude—it’s reputationally risky. The person you skip today might be the referral, investor, or buyer you need tomorrow.

Set Norms Before You Automate

Automation can be a powerful tool—but without clear expectations, it quickly becomes a shortcut to disengagement. If you’re not defining when and how AI tools should be used, you're silently training your team, partners, and clients that presence is optional.

This is especially critical in early-stage startups and B2B service businesses, where relationships are your capital. Whether you're pitching investors, onboarding clients, or kicking off partnerships, the impression you leave often matters more than the pitch you deliver. So what is the etiquette in an AI-assisted workplace?

• First-time meetings? Show up in person—or on camera. Initial conversations are about energy, trust, and shared understanding—not just data capture. Showing up yourself (camera on, attention focused) sets the tone for future engagement. If you can’t prioritize this, don’t expect them to.

• High-trust conversations? Ask before recording. Even if you’re using AI only for transcription, always get consent. Recording without permission—especially with tools that share links and summaries—can feel invasive and erode trust. A simple, “Do you mind if I use a note-taker for my own reference?” goes a long way.

• Internal updates or task-based meetings? Automate freely—but communicate why. Let your team know when you're using a tool like Fireflies or Fathom to document action items, not because you're checked out. Make sure there’s still space for live interaction—don’t reduce every meeting to a summary.

• Hybrid or distributed teams? Establish AI etiquette in your culture handbook. Include guidance on when bots are appropriate, what tools are approved, and how recordings are stored or shared. This creates clarity, protects privacy, and reinforces that people—not platforms—come first.

• Crisis or conflict conversations? Leave the bots out. Difficult topics require human nuance. Recording these moments can come across as adversarial—even litigious. When emotions run high, AI presence can escalate tension rather than reduce it.

As Melanie puts it: “If someone’s hiring you, investing in you, or partnering with you—they want to feel your energy.” And no transcription tool, no matter how advanced, can replace real-time presence, empathy, or nuance.

AI tools are incredibly useful—but only when deployed with context, consent, and care. Without that, they stop being helpful and start being harmful.

AI can summarize. But it can’t sell trust.

Actionable Insights

Here’s how to use AI tools without losing human connection:

• Set meeting norms. Be clear when AI note-takers are appropriate—and when they’re not.

• Lead with presence. If trust matters, show up yourself. The first meeting is never the place to delegate presence.

• Use AI to enhance, not replace. Let tools support your process—but never let them be your stand-in.

• Respect the boundary. Always ask before recording or transcribing sensitive meetings. Consent is part of trust.

AI tools are here to stay—but human connection still closes deals, builds brands, and drives loyalty. If your AI is showing up more than you are, it’s time to rethink who's actually running the meeting—and what message that sends.

Because in a world where technology is always on, presence is what makes people feel seen.